How Do We Know We're Doing It Right?
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-06-15 08:51:59
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Pandora Sykes
- ISBN：1786091003
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Summary
Modern life is full of choices。 We’re told that happiness lies within and we can be whoever we want to be。 But with endless possibility comes a feeling of restlessness; like we’re somehow failing to live our best life。 What does doing it right even look like？ And why do so many women feel like they’re getting it wrong？
From that Zara dress to millennial burnout， the explosion of wellness to the rise of cancel culture， Pandora Sykes interrogates the stories we’ve been sold and the ones we tell ourselves。 Wide-ranging， thoughtful and witty， How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right？ explores the anxieties and myths that consume our lives and the tools we use to muddle through。
So sit back and take a breath。 It’s time to stop worrying about the answers – and start delighting in the questions。
From that Zara dress to millennial burnout， the explosion of wellness to the rise of cancel culture， Pandora Sykes interrogates the stories we’ve been sold and the ones we tell ourselves。 Wide-ranging， thoughtful and witty， How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right？ explores the anxieties and myths that consume our lives and the tools we use to muddle through。
So sit back and take a breath。 It’s time to stop worrying about the answers – and start delighting in the questions。
Reviews
Alecia。F
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Such a treat to listen to the audio book， narrated by Pandora herself - think I’ll have to purchase the physical copy so I can reference some of the essays in the future。 Some highlights were her comments on the wellness industry， the “beautiful， isn’t she” advertising campaign （which I followed at the time as a fan of the photographer）， and the complicated nature of the hidden mental load women take on。 Looking forward to re-reading physically soon！
Amy Walsh
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Very interesting take on the modern world。 Sometimes I was bit like ahh shup but if we agreed then life would be boring hah？ Would recommend to a friend。
Sally
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Never heard of the author before。 A series of essays， which she acknowledges are highly biased towards the middle classes， which terrified me in their content。 Found myself utterly grateful that I was born such a long time ago and faced nowhere near the level of angst of the modern era
Abbie
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A really interesting， well researched thought provoking social commentary on modern life for millennials， there wasn't much in this collection of essays which I didn't identify with！！ Not a book that will give you 'answers' about how to live your life， you won't find out if you are 'doing it right' but it definitely helps to analyse the parts of modern life which are a bit bonkers。 Really enjoyed reading these essays and has made me keen to devour everything else by Pandora Sykes。 A really interesting， well researched thought provoking social commentary on modern life for millennials， there wasn't much in this collection of essays which I didn't identify with！！ Not a book that will give you 'answers' about how to live your life， you won't find out if you are 'doing it right' but it definitely helps to analyse the parts of modern life which are a bit bonkers。 Really enjoyed reading these essays and has made me keen to devour everything else by Pandora Sykes。 。。。more
Lianne
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Interesting set of essays considering life now， interspersed with other ways to think。 Pandora writes like you’re having a well considered conversation with someone who shares a passion for reflecting on what it means to “do it right”。 Really enjoyed reading this， would recommend。
Elena
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I enjoyed it and felt inspired。 For me the single most important things about such a book。
Hannah Noeline
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A timely book focusing on so many things many people could relate to。 Some strong key ideas coming through， for myself - from trying to "get the look" to getting "the life" in fashion， in regards to relationships， how it is the cognitive load which one person takes in the relationship that makes things stressful and hard to manage everyday life chores/jobs and having children。 So much more too， such as focusing on the evolution of different communication mediums， I。e。 social media and email to l A timely book focusing on so many things many people could relate to。 Some strong key ideas coming through， for myself - from trying to "get the look" to getting "the life" in fashion， in regards to relationships， how it is the cognitive load which one person takes in the relationship that makes things stressful and hard to manage everyday life chores/jobs and having children。 So much more too， such as focusing on the evolution of different communication mediums， I。e。 social media and email to looking at the global "raw nerve" and the age of "wellness"。Loved this book and would recommend！ 。。。more
TBHONEST
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How Do We Know We're Doing It Right？ is an insightful and honest read that makes you look at your own life and ask yourself how you see things in your own life，A book that could help you change your life and that anyone who reads it can learn from。 How Do We Know We're Doing It Right？ is an insightful and honest read that makes you look at your own life and ask yourself how you see things in your own life，A book that could help you change your life and that anyone who reads it can learn from。 。。。more
Katie Davis
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Loved it！ Thoroughly enjoyed the structure of essays on various topics。
Harriet
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I quite enjoyed some of the essays in this book but in the end DNF because I just felt like Pandora Sykes’ descriptions of her own privilege massively jarred against the woe is me tone of the book。 Compared to a lot of millennials who have no hope of writing a column， owning a Victorian house in London， etcetera， she seems quite shielded against the realities。 Maybe because I only just finished “I am not your baby mother”， the sharp contrast between their worlds left a bad taste in my mouth and I quite enjoyed some of the essays in this book but in the end DNF because I just felt like Pandora Sykes’ descriptions of her own privilege massively jarred against the woe is me tone of the book。 Compared to a lot of millennials who have no hope of writing a column， owning a Victorian house in London， etcetera， she seems quite shielded against the realities。 Maybe because I only just finished “I am not your baby mother”， the sharp contrast between their worlds left a bad taste in my mouth and I couldn’t be bothered to invest more time in Sykes’ narrative。 。。。more
Sam A
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Really wanted to like this because I love the author’s work on The High Low podcast， but this read like a folder of someone’s （to be fair， very well researched and balanced） University essays。 The author is acutely self-aware of her position as a privileged white woman and does go to great lengths to caveat this at multiple points of the book insofar as it may limit her perspectives and lived experience - Fair enough （and absolutely nothing wrong with that） but I almost wished she took that and Really wanted to like this because I love the author’s work on The High Low podcast， but this read like a folder of someone’s （to be fair， very well researched and balanced） University essays。 The author is acutely self-aware of her position as a privileged white woman and does go to great lengths to caveat this at multiple points of the book insofar as it may limit her perspectives and lived experience - Fair enough （and absolutely nothing wrong with that） but I almost wished she took that and owned it and gave us the fullest perspective from that vantage point。 Instead I felt like the tone of voice was mostly apologetic and almost blandly middling， relying on （and quoting extensively from） the works of others whenever it sought to express a potentially controversial or extreme view。 Then again， this could simply be the intended approach of the book - to present a balanced， well-researched， albeit removed view。 If so it certainly succeeded but personally for me that made it less enjoyable of a read。 I wonder if I would have liked this better as an audiobook。 Still a massive fan of the podcast and would 100% recommend it to anyone。 。。。more
L Sheridon
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Really insightful and made me question deeper thoughts/musings I'd not always considered other than skirting reflections。 Really insightful and made me question deeper thoughts/musings I'd not always considered other than skirting reflections。 。。。more
leah
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this is a book of essays by the popular journalist and podcaster pandora sykes， and although i often find essay collections quite dense， i actually really enjoyed my time reading this one！ as the title suggests， the essays all centre around the practices and anxieties of modern life。 the essays cover a range of topics， including the wellness industry， binge-watching culture， digital communication， work/life balance - to name a few。 the book is definitely heavily centred around middle-class mille this is a book of essays by the popular journalist and podcaster pandora sykes， and although i often find essay collections quite dense， i actually really enjoyed my time reading this one！ as the title suggests， the essays all centre around the practices and anxieties of modern life。 the essays cover a range of topics， including the wellness industry， binge-watching culture， digital communication， work/life balance - to name a few。 the book is definitely heavily centred around middle-class millennials’ issues， but this is something that sykes thankfully acknowledges in the introduction。 i thought this book was really well-written and interesting， and even though not all the essays were relatable to me （due to both age and social class differences）， i still enjoyed reading them。 throughout the essays sykes draws on the work of psychologists， culture critics， popular culture， philosophers etc， which i noticed a few reviewers have criticised her for as they wanted more of her own words/thoughts。 but as someone who writes a lot of uni essays where you basically aren’t allowed an original thought and have to reference everything （only half-joking）， i actually appreciated how well-researched this was。some reviewers have also called this a ‘self help’ book but i wouldn’t say it is。 it doesn’t really provide any answers， but that’s ok， because it never promises to。 in our rapidly changing modern culture/lives， it seems almost impossible to come up with any answers before a range of new questions are being asked。 i think the most comforting part of these kinds of books often comes from the takeaway message that no one really knows what they’re doing， and maybe that’s ok？？ thank you so much @penguinrandomhouse for sending me an arc copy of this paperback edition！ 。。。more
Jodie McPherson
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🌿BOOK REVIEW🌿How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right？ By Pandora SykesI wanted to like this book SO much… I have heard amazing things from people online but for me it was a miss unfortunately。 This is an essay collection exploring the choices that modern life throws at us but for me it felt very surface level and missed how nuanced these issues are。 I also felt like it was all things I had heard before， but I can appreciate that it is a good starting point if you haven’t！I found it quite difficult t 🌿BOOK REVIEW🌿How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right？ By Pandora SykesI wanted to like this book SO much… I have heard amazing things from people online but for me it was a miss unfortunately。 This is an essay collection exploring the choices that modern life throws at us but for me it felt very surface level and missed how nuanced these issues are。 I also felt like it was all things I had heard before， but I can appreciate that it is a good starting point if you haven’t！I found it quite difficult to relate to the author who does hold a high level of privilege and I felt a lot of essays just skimmed over the work of other people without much more depth。 。。。more
Sophie Armitage
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Took a while to get into it， but in the end loved it。 Incredibly well researched and referenced， this is a multidimensional perspective on the weird， wonderful and bizarre ways we all live our life。 Sometimes there were too many references for me， and the best bits were when her voice shines through strongest。 Would recommend if you like non-fiction and want something that going to get your thoughts whirring about a lot of the common challenges we all face everyday。
Jess Hudson
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This was。。。。 Fine？？
Faye Fullalove
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I enjoyed the topics and Pandora’s writing， which was warm， easy to read and seems quite well researched。 But I didn’t find anything too new in here （probably read too many columns and podcasts by the people she quotes！）
Chantia
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This had some really interesting takes and felt like a refreshing angle on modern life and the intricacies we find ourselves in a digital heavy age。If you’re a fan of Pandora Sykes or the High Low podcast this is a must read
Ann Carter
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I can’t help but be impressed by the sheer volume of research that has gone into this book。 No grand game changing revelations but， damn， she worked hard on pulling it all together， and it’s a pleasure because of it。 Multiple pages turned down to refer to later and many， many googlings as I made my way through。 The only niggle I have about it is that I’m so obviously her target audience that of course I was going to lap it up。 Keen to hear what my mother-in-law will make of it when I loan her my I can’t help but be impressed by the sheer volume of research that has gone into this book。 No grand game changing revelations but， damn， she worked hard on pulling it all together， and it’s a pleasure because of it。 Multiple pages turned down to refer to later and many， many googlings as I made my way through。 The only niggle I have about it is that I’m so obviously her target audience that of course I was going to lap it up。 Keen to hear what my mother-in-law will make of it when I loan her my copy。 。。。more
Annabelle Penhaligon
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I’m not the only 20-something hanging on every word of Pandora Sykes。 When my friends and I went to see The High Low Live in 2019 we found ourselves in a room decked in Zara dresses， Sauvignon Blanc， and fringes。 It was amazing。Sykes is constructively critical of institutions which hurt women， rather than critical of the women who endorse them。 Her discussion of the wellness industry was so well researched with plenty of nuance。 Her discussion of the prevalence of orthorexia in the tech industry I’m not the only 20-something hanging on every word of Pandora Sykes。 When my friends and I went to see The High Low Live in 2019 we found ourselves in a room decked in Zara dresses， Sauvignon Blanc， and fringes。 It was amazing。Sykes is constructively critical of institutions which hurt women， rather than critical of the women who endorse them。 Her discussion of the wellness industry was so well researched with plenty of nuance。 Her discussion of the prevalence of orthorexia in the tech industry felt really relevant and considerate。I really enjoyed the discussion of fast fashion and influencer culture， but it also really made me miss my consumption of clothes when I was 12/13。 I vividly remember watching youtubers’ hauls which came from a shopping bag rather than a next day delivery parcel。 I miss scouring the pages of OK！ in my local WH Smith to see what Alexa Chung was wearing that week， and then immediately making a beeline for New Look to buy the dupe of her statement bowler hat and bohemian waistcoat。 Walking down to the front desk of my apartment block to pick up an ASOS parcel I will inevitably be marching to the post office the next day isn’t the same experience。Sykes talks about the desire to read more。 I actually created this account because I wasn’t reading as much as I used to， and I knew others felt the same。 Has my reading improved because I scroll through Instagrams of books？ No！ It’s improved because I’ve made time to read。 I’ve cut out my Geordie Shore binges and reduced my screen time （and lockdown has probably helped）， but because I want to do so。What I loved most about reading this book was the fact that I added no fewer than five books to my TBR in the afternoon it took to read。 This book doesn’t have an end， it’s opening a discussion， and sending you on your way to other ideas and sources。 。。。more
Ella
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Thoroughly enjoyed this book of essays。 Reading it sparked many discussions in my life that led to some engaging conversations with those close to me， which I loved。 This book also has a really lovely air of hopefulness。 It left me feeling simultaneously happier， and more critical about the way I view certain aspects of myself and the world。 There were plenty of moments where I had to sit back and pause reading for a bit to digest what Sykes was saying。 I personally related to a lot of her thoug Thoroughly enjoyed this book of essays。 Reading it sparked many discussions in my life that led to some engaging conversations with those close to me， which I loved。 This book also has a really lovely air of hopefulness。 It left me feeling simultaneously happier， and more critical about the way I view certain aspects of myself and the world。 There were plenty of moments where I had to sit back and pause reading for a bit to digest what Sykes was saying。 I personally related to a lot of her thoughts of veiws which of course I loved。 But her writing also challenged the way I think， and gave me a new perspective。 Would definitely recommend for someone wanting to read intelligent， thought-provoking writing about a range of interesting topics; which is exactly what this book is。 。。。more
Lu
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I liked some essays much more than others， but that is probably the nature of a book such as this。 Very worth the read however
Brittany
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I was introduced to Pandora Sykes while listening to Clementine Ford’s podcast and immediately purchased this book。 A thoroughly engaging and well researched collection of essays that examine wellness， binge watching， burnout culture and the millennial search for our “authentic selves”。 I particularly loved the essays “The Dreamcatchers” and “Relentless Pleasure”。 As a fellow middle class millennial I identified with so much of this book。 The only I don’t agree with is the title - doesn’t seem t I was introduced to Pandora Sykes while listening to Clementine Ford’s podcast and immediately purchased this book。 A thoroughly engaging and well researched collection of essays that examine wellness， binge watching， burnout culture and the millennial search for our “authentic selves”。 I particularly loved the essays “The Dreamcatchers” and “Relentless Pleasure”。 As a fellow middle class millennial I identified with so much of this book。 The only I don’t agree with is the title - doesn’t seem to be particularly relevant to the content。 。。。more
Danielle
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I found this a good easy read。 People who liked the Panic Years could well。like this one。 The bit that stuck out to me was the pressure from society to say the right things - because it is too exhausting trying to twist yourself into what society expects， particularly given what it expects changes so often， and also the pressure to be everything to everyone。 It is entirely possible to be a good person without attempting to take on every fight or issue on behalf of everybody else。
Rachael Mills
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Aimed at white， middle-class， thin， able-bodied women， this a collection of essays about the pressures of being a millennial。1） The Dream Catchers 3/5- explores the wellness industry- danger of wellness being seen as a sign of morality2） Get the Look 4/5- explores social media and fashion trends- get the look， get the life- homogenization3） Little Pieces Everywhere 3/5- how women are fragmented and flattened into definable categories- diminished by this flattening4） Work To Get Happy 3/5- the my Aimed at white， middle-class， thin， able-bodied women， this a collection of essays about the pressures of being a millennial。1） The Dream Catchers 3/5- explores the wellness industry- danger of wellness being seen as a sign of morality2） Get the Look 4/5- explores social media and fashion trends- get the look， get the life- homogenization3） Little Pieces Everywhere 3/5- how women are fragmented and flattened into definable categories- diminished by this flattening4） Work To Get Happy 3/5- the myth of work = happiness- work as the core of our identities5） Relentless Pleasure 4/5- binge-watching as a chore- curriculum of culture dictates what we watch- fatigued by pleasure6） The Authentic Lie 5/5- focus on authenticity in social media， especially Instagram- fetishisation of other people's flaws and the idea of being real- impossible balance between real and too real7） Looking Forward To Hearing Back 3/5- obligation of digital communication- sense of duty as we're expected to be available 24/78） The Raw Nerve 2/5- lack of inhibitions on the internet- need to show sympathy not empathy- importance of factfulness 。。。more
Hermine
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Pandora has written a book of thoroughly researched essays which collate viewpoints and contentions from books， articles and other writings that explore millennial-focused issues of the modern world。 While not completely novel， with some sections drawn from previous cultural discussions， it was nice to see her ponder over the same questions that I’ve read and thought about too。
Jen McDermott
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I enjoyed each of the essays on topics that are impacting women greatly in this moment - wellness， technology and social media， work / life balance， motherhood etc - however while I think Sykes aims for a non-judgmental tone I think this unfortunately failed at times。 There was often an air of "I would never do that but。。。 you do you。" She draws from some interesting thought leaders and studies to highlight her points but I think many of the pieces could probably have been more succint。 I enjoyed each of the essays on topics that are impacting women greatly in this moment - wellness， technology and social media， work / life balance， motherhood etc - however while I think Sykes aims for a non-judgmental tone I think this unfortunately failed at times。 There was often an air of "I would never do that but。。。 you do you。" She draws from some interesting thought leaders and studies to highlight her points but I think many of the pieces could probably have been more succint。 。。。more
Helen
，
I really wanted to like this book as I'd heard good things。 Although the essays were well written， I didn't see the point of them？ I didn't feel like I learned anything， or at least anything new。 I liked the parts Pandora weaved her experience through it， but appreciate this isn't an autobiography。 Furthermore， I feel like this book is going to get out-of-date very quickly as it references events that readers won't remember in a few years。 If you want to read it， read it now！ I really wanted to like this book as I'd heard good things。 Although the essays were well written， I didn't see the point of them？ I didn't feel like I learned anything， or at least anything new。 I liked the parts Pandora weaved her experience through it， but appreciate this isn't an autobiography。 Furthermore， I feel like this book is going to get out-of-date very quickly as it references events that readers won't remember in a few years。 If you want to read it， read it now！ 。。。more
Joscelyn Timberley
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can’t finish this
Jolette
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